


No More

by AngelOfTheMoor



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Ficlet, Friendship/Love, Gen, Post Season/Series 08, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-13
Updated: 2013-06-13
Packaged: 2017-12-14 21:17:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 434
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/841485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelOfTheMoor/pseuds/AngelOfTheMoor
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Castiel contemplates suicide.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No More

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: _Supernatural_ doesn't belong to me.

Castiel had messed up again. And now—now he was human, and he didn’t even have the power to attempt to make things right.

When he was certain Dean and Sam were absorbed in their research in the bunker’s library, he slipped into Dean’s room and studied the weapons on the wall. It seemed any of them would do. He snatched one then rummaged around Dean’s drawers until he found several boxes of bullets. He didn’t know which ones belonged to which gun, but he could try all of them until he found the ones that worked. He gazed at the gun and the bullets in his hands while he contemplated the idea one last time. Yes, he was sure of his choice. If he eliminated himself, he wouldn’t be able to screw things up anymore.

“What’re you doing?” a voice asked behind him. He jumped then turned around. Dean stood in the doorway, examining him with those intense green eyes.

Castiel didn’t know how to answer, so he just stared at Dean, shame building each second Dean’s eyes were on him.

“I . . . ” Castiel’s voice trailed off, but remembering his plan, his tone grew resolute. “You don’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“What?”

“I—” Castiel swallowed. “I am leaving.”

“Leaving? What do you mean, leaving?” After a moment, realization dawned in his eyes. “Oh, no, Cas,” he whispered in a strangled voice. His hands brushed Castiel’s gently as he took the items away. He put them back where they belonged and turned back to Castiel. “Don’t ever do that,” he breathed. Castiel closed his eyes as tears leaked from them. “Talk to me,” Dean urged softly.

Castiel opened his eyes and focused his blurry gaze somewhere to the left of Dean. “I—all I do is fail,” Castiel gasped. “And I try, I try to fix it, and I just keep making things worse.”

He placed a hand on Castiel’s chin and gently rotated it until he was facing him. “We will find a way to fix this. Trust me.” 

“No. I’ve let you down. That cannot be fixed.”

Dean threw his arms around Castiel and buried his face in the shoulder of his trench coat. “You’re family,” he declared, his voice muffled. He pulled back and looked Castiel in the eye. “I can’t lose you.”

“But, Dean—”

“Shh.” Dean laid a finger on Castiel’s lips. Tears flowed from his eyes. He embraced Castiel again. “Everything’s going to be all right. We’re going to be all right.” He rocked Castiel lightly as he spoke. 

Castiel finally understood what it meant to be family.


End file.
